my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
