I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize