I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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