so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
