You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
