She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
