my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
