Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
time to smoke my breakfast
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
They took my balls.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
