saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
