Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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