I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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