Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
