he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize