It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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