i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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