you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
