she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
