We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
