So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
