I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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