I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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