You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
