You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
