..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
