I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
