We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
