I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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