I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
