I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
