i think my tv is drunk
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
