Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize