Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
