I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
