Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
