this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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