hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
