He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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