I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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