dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
