3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
