Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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