you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
