I'm eating all of the evidence.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I lost the right to judge tonight
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
