i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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