I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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