At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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