Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
