This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
