Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
