enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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