you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize