id be glad to
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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