I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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