Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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