Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
