Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
