i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize