im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
