oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
