Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
